Shoulder to shoulder, the deck measures 4.5 acres, with displacement of about 100,000 tons with full complement. Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling...
The USS Ronald Reagan is expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years, and carries over 80 combat aircraft. The bridge towers 20 stories above the waterline, and at 1092 feet long, the hull is nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall.
Driven by four 21-ft. bronze propellers -each weighing 66,200 pounds- the USS Ronald Reagan is home to cca 6,000 sailors. It carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days between port calls, with 18,150 meals served daily.
Four onboard distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes...
The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton 'for his foresight in military budget cuts' in addition to his conduct while holding the
(formerly dignified) office of President.
This one is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which -although they cannot be launched from the 100 ft deck- form a
very menacing presence.
As a standing order, there are no firearms allowed on board: this crew -much like those aboard the USS Jimmy Carter- receive weeks of special training in how to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States... at all costs.
An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may have found America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound sincere.
When conflict cannot be avoided, the captain of the USS Bill Clinton has orders to promptly seek refuge in Canada.
But no worries... he has a plan.
15 comments:
Hilarious RR. I hope that ass can swim, because you just know it will sink...
Great perspective, made my day.
Thanks guys lol
"USS Bill Clinton",,,,LMAO. Let me guess; the uniforms are blue with a black beret,,lol
They could have done a cigar-themed sub lol
LOL,,Yea and christen it the "USS Organic Vibrator"
This should appear on the opening page of Bing.
I like the way you think, Grannie
Effing AwesomE!
Nice shot across the bows there, RR.
You will note that the skiff is powered by an Evinrude - gasoline engine. Drill, baby, drill.
Yeah, at least Evinrude's American, gotta give BHO that
I would have expected solar power made in Denmark or something
A really good belly laugh when sitting at the computer too late at night is a very good thing. Love the info on the USS RR.
Excellent! The Somali pirates have rubber rafts that are more impressive than the USS BHO.
As for the USS Obama, it surrendered, and promptly sank from guilt...while still in dry dock.
Glad you liked it Inno and Matt
And happy it had the desired effect, Maggie~
I don't know if I should laugh or cry at the sight of the USS BHO... Besides, if BHO has a plan, I bet you the Cylon Plan is better!
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