After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. -anon
The great question... which I have not been able to answer is: 'What does a woman want? - Dumas
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. -Sigmund Freud
'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.' -anon
'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called "marriage".' -Sam Kinison
'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.' -James Holt McGavra
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -Rodney Dangerfield
Baloo h/t Roberto