03 May 2012

Mitt Romney Employs Comprehensive Image Makeover to Counter Media's
Monotonous 'Cool Obama' Narrative

The Romney campaign has developed a plan to act as counterweight to ceaseless MSM-fueled fairy tales about how 'cool' Barack Obama supposedly is... although hard to swallow for any thinking person, obviously there's still enough pudding-heads out there that buy into that- even Republicans.

With a close race and every vote precious (inc. impressionable idiots), Romney's new 'cool' look will consist of identical, crisply-ironed white t-shirts, creased Levi's jeans, and matching black leather boots and motorcycle jacket, with aviator shades the finishing touch for any outdoor appearances. 

Where Ronald Reagan ended his '84 campaign stump speeches with 'You ain't seen nothin' yet!', The Mitz will be going with a simple, trendy 'Ayyyy!' and tried-and-true thumbs-up gesture (that's still 'in', right?).

Further plans to deck-out Ann Romney like Pinky Tuscadero and roar onstage at Tampa on a H-D Sportster are being put together as we speak...

And can somebody please tell me how on God's green Earth Barack Obama is 'cool', anyway?