22 May 2012

U.S. Presidents As Seen Through the
(Well-Informed) Eyes of the Secret Service


If those Ray-Bans could only talk...

Yet now they have: a new book has let out a few gems, 
and has some other former agents talking, too:


JFK: 'A philanderer of the highest order...'

One agent assigned to guard the charismatic leader got to know a 'cheating, reckless husband whose aides snuck women into the White House to appease his sexual appetite.'

Some Catholic- but little surprise: FBI files speak of the horndog Kennedy brothers' special Manhattan townhouse, used solely for the purpose of holding orgies along with booty bangin' buds Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr (explains the crosseyed perma-grin).


LBJ: Blowhard liberal successor to Kennedy was also 'promiscuous and oversexed'. In addition to his other fine qualities, Johnson was an uncouth slob, 'crude as the day is long' who treated Secret Service -along with most other staff-
like servantile trash, according to those who served in the failed president's security detail.



As with JFK, Johnson kept a lot of women around the White House at his disposal, for use as sex toilets- both men even had 'early warning systems' installed in the Oval Office purely for the purpose of providing alerts when the wife was getting a little too close to the action~


Nixon: Agents who knew him describe a 'moral' man but one also quite odd socially, extremely paranoid, and although a loyal husband by most accounts (unless you believe those nasty Bebe Robozo rumors!), Nixon had a 'horrible relationship with his family...almost a recluse.'

One agent assigned to protect the Nixons said that the President -codenamed Searchlight- 'seemed to have no relationship with his wife, Pat,' He went on to say that the First Lady was was an alcoholic who fancied martinis.

Once when the the Nixons were back in San Clemente, the whole family went out to play nine holes of golf. An agent assigned that day recalls that during the entire 90 minute outing, Nixon did not utter one single word to his wife and daughters...


The Fords: Agents describe Gerald Ford as 'a true gentlemen who treated the Secret Service with respect and dignity' with a 'great sense of humor.'

As for the wife, 'she drank a lot!' Yes, First Lady Betty Ford did indeed suffer from alcoholism, but not too much later she found sobriety. By 1982 she had gone on to found the Betty Ford Center, which has aided nearly 100,000 people suffering from alcohol and drug addiction.

Portrayed by SNL comedian Chevy Chase to be a stumbling, bumbling buffoon, agents say (former college football player) Ford was in-reality very athletic and enjoyed skiing, and that the President sometimes taunted agents to keep up with him on the slopes. After regularly failing to keep up with Ford, the Secret Service actually recruited a world class skier who would ski backwards in front of the President and 'wave as the President tried to catch up with him.'

Won't you be my neighbor

Jimmeh Carter: a 'complete phony' who put on an elaborate, disnegenuous act for public consumption. For example, Carter was often shown by the press to be carrying his own luggage at the airport, but the suitcases were actually empty, nothing more than a prop: he traveled with an empty set (in more ways than one lol) purely for press photo opps...

Carter also portrayed a pious/dry image, but according to SS agents the Carter family drank plenty.  As with today's effeminate post-turtle BHO, Carter held the Secret Service in disdain, and was very sloppy in caring for the nuclear 'football' and it's ultra-top-secret ICBM launch codes. He 'didn't think it was a big deal' and usually kept military aides at a considerable distance. 

Typical of arrogant, aloof leftists, President Carter often did not even acknowledge the presence of Secret Service personnel assigned to guard his life.

The Real Deal

Ronald Reagan: As one might expect, agents describe the Reagans as 'The real deal... moral, honest, respectful, and dignified. They treated Secret Service and everyone else with respect and honor. Thanked everyone all the time... took the time to know everyone on a personal level.'

One popular story which circulated among the Secret Service personnel was the 1981 incident where the Gipper emerged from his room with a pistol tucked into his belt. The agent in charge asked: 'Why the pistol, Mr. President?'  Reagan replied, 'In case you boys can't get the job done, I can help.'

Agents came to realize that it was common for Reagan to be packing heat: when he met with Gorbachev at Reykjavik, he had actually had a pistol in his briefcase (damn far cry from how Flex-O-Bama is licking KGB butt now, eh)

Nancy is described by all as being 'very nice' but also very protective of the President- asking agents for help with watching his diet on the road, for instance.

The Reagans would have a wine at state dinners and at some special occasions, but other than that avoided alcohol. For all the phony righteousness of the Carters, it was the Reagan family who 'lived life as genuinely moral people' according to SS agents who knew them personally.


George H.W. Bush: 'Extremely kind and considerate... always respectful.' Treated SS agents like family, the Bushes even brought them meals, coffee, etc. 

One time on a cold night at the family's Kennebunkport retreat, First Lady Barbara Bush brought hats, scarves, and sweaters to agents stationed outside the house. One agent was given a warm ski cap and when -although obviously freezing- he tried to turn-down the offer, the President told him 'Son, don't argue with the First Lady... put the hat on.' 

Bush was also described as 'the most prompt' of all modern presidents, and that he 'ran the White House like a well-oiled machine.'


Slick Willy: To William Jefferson Clinton, the hallowed office of the Presidency was nothing more than 'one giant party'.

'Not trustworthy', he 'acted nice' like a used car salesman would, to earn trust and to satiate a narcissistic need to be 'liked'.


As for Shrillary, agents saw 'another phony'. Her demeanor would change 'the instant cameras were near'. She openly hated the military and Secret Service. The First Lady of the 90s felt that the SS agents where basically there to serve her whims.
Of course she was 'always trying to keep tabs' on Bubba, but like other wives of Democratic magalomaniac presidents before her, somehow always one step behind.



As for Al Gore, the self-anointed climate guru/internet pioneer was described by those SS agents who suffered the misfortune of being assigned to him as 'an egotistical ass' once overheard loudly warning his son Algore3 to 'do better in school' or he'd 'end up like these guys' while the elder Gore pointed at the Secret Service agents assigned to protect his life... class

George W Bush: The Secret Service loved he and Laura: known as the most physically-fit of the presidents, W was
-like Condi- very disciplined re. his exercise regimen.


The Bushes -along with their entire administrative and household staff- understood the importance of respecting the US Secret Service. Agents remarked that Laura was 'one of the nicest First Ladies, if not the nicest' and that Karl Rove was actually the most caring of the Secret Service in the entire administration.


Dear Leader: Basically Clinton without the chicks: 'has temper tantrums... hates the military' and condescending towards the Secret Service. Obama is described as 'egotistical and cunning; looks you in the eye and appears to agree with you, but turns around and does the opposite- untrustworthy'.
Secret service, Obama, Carter US Presidents, Reagan behind the scenes
First Wookie: Michelle Obama is described as 'a complete b****' that 'hates anybody who is not black...hates the military' and who looks at the Secret Service as servants. I guess alongside her unprecedented personal staff of 26 lickspittles, they'd best know their place then.

UPI   Ronald Kessler   Truthorfiction   h/t El Roberto