26 July 2012

North Korea: 'Supreme Leader' Kim Jong Un Commandeers Army Officer's Wife To Be The Hermit-Kingdom's New First Lady

The Boy King has wed... but who? 

Speculation regarding the attractive 'mystery woman' that began to appear with Kim Jong Un at recent public events in Pyongyang has now been resolved (so much is secret and/or an enigma in the DPRK, some thought she might just be his younger sister: nothing was explained whatsoever-
she was
 suddenly just there).

North Korean state media has now announced that the reclusive communist nation's 20-something leader -recently titled 'Supreme Leader' and made an Army Field Marshal- has wed 
Ri Sol Ju, indeed the woman in the photos and a former pop singer who first caught his eye at a live show seven years back.

To complete the transformation, it appears that Ri Sol Ju has changed her name from Hyon Song Wol, her former/stage name when performing with her electronic music group 'Bonchonbo', whose hits (in North Korea) include I Love Pyongyang, She is a Discharged Soldier, and We are the Troops of the Party
(NOT a joke).

The romance initially began between her and pleasantly-plump Kim when he returned from studying in Switzerland- alas, father Kim Jong Il frowned-up the relationship and promptly forbade him from seeing her. Today, such a move against his dad's stated wishes could have a little something to do with Kim Jong Un's recent taking-control of the Army and the firing of a top general who was very close to Kim Jong Il.

When the old man put an end to the relationship a few years back, Ri reportedly moved-on and married a North Korean Army officer who actually serves with an elite presidential security detail... at least he used to: Kim Jong Un appears to have basically ordered the-now Ri Sol Ju to leave him, if she hadn't already by the time Supreme Leader had come to power. 

Oddly, Ri Sol Ju even performed onstage -visibly pregnant- a few months back, singing with the Pyongyang Orchestra at an event for Kim Jong Un... the outside observer might surmise that she was told to have the kid, hand it to the (ex) hubby, then get-on-over to the presidential palace, stat.

South Korean media are saying Ri then underwent a special training regimen at Kim Il Sung University to be Kim's consort and perfect First Lady, then was dispatched to his side when they thought the moment to be right.

As will all things in the DPRK, there's a political element to the union, or at least the timing: at approx. 27, Kim Jong Un is the youngest head-of-state in the world, with no management or government experience to speak-of, so he's doing all he can right now to appear stable, calm, mature, and most importantly wise-enough-to-rule.

Simply to be seen together in public as a couple marks an abrupt departure from standard practice in the dynastic Kim regime- grandpa Kim Il Sung kept his 1st and 2nd wife sequestered away, as did Dear Leader Kim Jong Il (who even spoke but once in public, where the son has been on TV 2x already). 

The stylish, attractive Ri Sol Ju appears set to become some sort of Commie Diana, as the 3rd-generation Kim attempts to put a new face on this vile regime. Hopefully Supreme Leader can cobble-together a team that can stave-off collapse, averting a monstrous humanitarian and fiscal crisis the world really doesn't need right now.

Even a speck of economic competence in Pyongyang -outside of exporting missiles, selling nuclear technology to other rogue states, and counterfeiting $100 bills- would be a refreshing change: immediate goals might include introducing a bit of entrepreneurship ala Vietnam/China, getting off international food aid, releasing some or all of the 200,000 political prisoners currently rotting in grim gulags, and/or stop spending $6 Billion/year on defense/nukes (while taking donations for rice).

Note for Supreme Leader: nobody aims to control North Korea unless forced to (if/when the DPRK implodes). Your feeble system is the actual biggest threat to your existence...
know that and you'll have a chance, kid.

Nork state TV delivers the glorious news: