13 March 2011

Guide: Translating Californese into Texan

Translation into Texan of some 
common California euphemisms...





In California:
Means in Texas:
Diversity/Lifestyle Choice
Sinful and Perverted
Arsenal of Weapons
Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands
Swamp
Undocumented Worker
Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials
Polyester
Assault and Battery
Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed
Well-protected
Narrow-minded
Righteous
Taxes or Your Fair Share
Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control
Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives
Fireworks or Stump Removal
Nonviable Tissue Mass
Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity
Socialism
Multicultural Community
High Crime Area
Fairness /Social Progress
Marxism
Upper Class or "The Rich"
Self-Employed
Progressive, Change
Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged
Bums/Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle
Scoped Deer Gun
Investment For the Future
Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform
Socialized Medicine
Extremist,/Judgmental/Hater
Conservative
High Capacity Magazine
Standard Mag
Religious Zealot
Church-going
Fair Trade Coffee
Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich"
Employed/Land Owner
The Gun Lobby
NRA Members
Assault Weapon
Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus
New/Higher Taxes
Same Sex Marriage
Legalized Perversion

The Economist   h/t Kirby