11 May 2015

Republic of Molossia Unveils New Visitor Center!

'I'm President-for-Life... and I'm OK with that'

His Excellency President Kevin Baugh

North America's answer to The Principality of Sealand -the self-declared micronation of Molossia (a few acres near Reno + colony in California)-
is proud to announce the opening of a glistening new visitor's center for international tourists...

Surrounded on all sides by US/Nevada territory, landlocked Molossia was founded and has been run (with an iron fist!) by one Kevin Baugh since 1999. 

 A 2012 petition on WhiteHouse.gov meant to force US recognition of Molossia's sovereignty failed to gain the required number of signatures,
yet His Excellency continues to make improvements, 'serve the people' 
(27 members of the Baugh family, counting dogs), and expand territory.

Molossia Visitor's Center/Customs

 Baugh's prefab ranch-style home (Government House) encompasses the entire capital -'Baughston'- where the presidential office is to be found.

The unrecognized statelet boasts it's own currency, postal system, military, constitution, customs regime, passport stamp, time zone (oddly UTC -7:41)
and foreign policy ('we enjoy excellent relations with the US...
that's where we send our garbage!'). 

 Three official languages are English, German, and Esperanto- with Deseret the designated alphabet (although nowhere to be seen on the website,
official documents, nor signage).

The Molossian economy is driven by approx. 15 tourists a year, with profits generated from the sale of Molossian stamps, war bonds, autographed photos of the President and 'First Lady', etc. They also are doing a booming business online. 

Visitors to Molossia are required to provide a valid passport at the customs booth and fork-over their 'foreign' pocket change in order to gain entry
(tourism by appointment only).

But the majority of external revenue comes from 'guest worker' family members who 'work in the US' and bring home 'remittances' ala Mexican migrants.

Home-schooling would seem to be a good fit for the Baugh family, since (although there's a scouting program) Molossia has no formal educational system ('we send our kids to school in the States'). Thus, they'l be exposed to the same Common Core crap as the peon children of parents who lack their own country, it seems.

'Red Square' retail district

Further afield, the Molossian Protectorate of New Antrim was once located at an undisclosed location in Pennsylvania and was the largest of territory held by Molossia at 8+ acres. Alas, this land is no longer claimed by
The Republic.

In 2005, Baugh inherited additional land from his grandfather in the Southern California desert. This territory was annexed to Molossia's possessions as 'Desert Homestead Province'- the property has since been declared a 'national monument' to President Baugh and remains under the control of Molossia.


In addition, visionary President Baugh has made a claim of 49,881 sq miles on the planet of Venus, as well as a spot on the ocean floor in the northern Pacific Ocean he calls 'Neptune Deep'.

Although a dictatorship, Molossia and other micronations are actually
the epitome of liberty and freedom... be your own dictator!

And Molossia is ready to defend that liberty: although lacking a land army or air force, the microstate projects military might via it's own navy, boasting four vessels and a land infantry division-- the Molossian Naval Infantry.
A 13-ft inflatable raft -the M.S. Spindrift- currently serves as the
Navy's flagship. 


Amusingly, the Republic of Molossia claims to be at war with the DDR aka East Germany. Although the DDR imploded at the end of the Cold War, Molossia asserts a claim to Ernst Thälmann Island
(symbolically gifted to East German communist leader Erich Honecker by Castro in 1972)- thus still in-play according to the Molossian dictator, who's even issued war bonds 'to stop the fighting'.

Is Molossia really a force to be reckoned with? Ask Mustachistan...

Welcome to Molossia!

 The Republic also sponsors a stand-alone space program, once part of the now-disbanded Molossian Air Force.

The purported currency is the 'Valora' (= 100 'Futtrus') and pegged to the retail price of refrigerated Pillsbury cookie dough (1 tube = 3 Valora). The Bank of Molossia -basically a garden shed- produces 'banknotes' as well as coins made from poker chips, all backed by the cookie dough stored on the property ('That way we're always rolling in dough' quips the convivial First Lady). 

The diminutive state has issued it's own postal stamps, a hot seller due to amusing art, pics of his kids, Marilyn Monroe tributes, etc.


So why bother with building a bunker in the US 
and/or Going Galt when you can just found your own damn country?